Bad attitude is like prejudice

It is not the best weather in South Africa to wake up and leave the house. If I was a CE0 or President I would order breakfast in bed. But I'm a single mother and black! So black I tell you. It is days like these when I wish I were the President's daughter. Not that his children do not have to make a living on their own but their doing so is voluntary.

To make things worse I tip toe to my car, hurriedly jump inside and guess what? The car would not start. I look up at the grey skies and at the windscreen wipers. I check the battery and all other fault-signals at the dashboard. Trying to diagnose it myself. All seems to look fine. I decide to kickstart the car and wala! It starts! I laugh childishly as I cut the curve to join the main street. Oh-oh I do not have enough gas. So I must stop at the petrol station. Here again the car refuses to start. And this time it gives me an ultimatum. Call the local mechanic or call my boss and tell him I am not coming to work. *how I wish it was that simple*

So I call my mother, before calling the mechanic. I leave my car keys with the gas station manager. The mechanic knows who to look for when he arrives. But somehow I must get to work. That's the thing with us women we always have alternative plans. Before I left the car I scrolled my phone looking at a possible friend to call. There is no one but some guy that I don't really like. I just can't stand him so the only open option is public transport.

So I grab a local taxi to the taxi rank. Fortunately for me there was no queue. So I boarded the first taxi that arrived. It is raining. Commuters are wearing rainsuits and carrying umbrellas. I also have an umbrealla luckily. *thank heavens my boot is a mini storage. Where would I be in this rain?*

So I got in and went to occupy the back seat. All the other seats were filled up. Only two seats at the backseats were vacant. So I greeted the old woman and young gentleman who both looked so grumpy. *LOL I could swear the weather being unfavourable was my fault*

The last person to board was a lady. She walked straight to the only empty seat and stood there. Without greeting or a smile at least she looked at me and said: "Give me tissue". I looked outside the window in disbelief. I looked at her again and she was looking at me. I don't know what she was thinking but I bet in her mind I had wet the seat. Geeeez! I found the seat like that. The gentleman was wearing a rain suit. The water came from him.

So I became the decent lady and reached for my pack of tissues and pulled three sheets and gave it to her. I waited for at least a thank you. Did I hear it no.

Then I looked at her again. And I thought to myself "I'm even better looking that her but geeezz apart from the beauty bestowed in me I still have some humanity and deep respect. What is the attitude so early in the morning? Is it hormones at play? I'm just as unpleased by the weather as everyone else. To make things worse my car let me down but hey! I'm not taking it out on innocent people.

I understand the old woman's mumbling when I greeted her she is probably menopausal but what is up with her (the young lady)?

Sisters please! I beg! Can we be a generation that strives for humanity?

Bad attitude is like prejudice which is like an old skin of a snake. Let us snap out of it!

To Mom - with love

One grateful daughter once wrote to her mother:

"Mama, you gave life to me
Turned a baby into a lady
And Mama, all you had to offer was a promise of lifetime of love
Now I know,
There is no other love like a mother's love for her child
And I know,
A love so complete someday must leave
It must say goodbye

Goodbye's the saddest word I will ever hear
Goodbye is the last time I will hold you near
Someday you will say that word and I will cry
It will break my heart to hear you say goodbye

Mama, you gave life to me
You turned a young one into a woman
Mama, all I ever needed was a guarantee of you loving me
Yes I know, there's no other love like a mother's love for her child
...And it hurts so
That something so strong
Someday will be gone
It must say goodbye

But the love you give will always live
You'll always be there everytime I fall
You are to me the greatest love of all
You take my weakness and you make me strong
And I will always love you till forever comes

And when you need me
I will be there for you always
I will be there your whole life through
I will be there this I promise you, Mama
I will be your beacon through your darkest night
I will be your wings that guide your broken flight
I will be your shelter through the raging storm
And I will love you till forever comes
My mother does know I love her. And my grandmother knows my mother loves her. And I know my daughter loves me.

Sisters let us not break this bond. Let us love each other unconditionally. Let us try...that is all I ask.

**Lyrical words extracted from Celine Dion's Goodbye - The Saddest Word song

Who do you confront?

Ok sisters, I have a question for you. No it's a series of questions. A deluge.

You have been having this hunch that he is cheating. All the signs have been prominent but you just could not get your hands on it.
All of a sudden he jumps whenever you play with him phone. He is unusually defensive and edgy. He has become extra sensitive. He comes home tired. His favourite dish no longer makes him beam. He stares blankly at the TV and frequently pressing his phone buttons. If you ever ask if he is expecting a call two things happen: either he tells you of a business opportunity or becomes worked out and aggressive. 'Baby, it was just a question'. All of a sudden he gets a lot of wrong numbers. Mhmmm, so your man has become famous girl! LOL!

Then things happen, we know they always do. Then you sister, assign yourself as a 'detective'. First stop, is his cellphone. Need I explain what we do when we lay our nicely manured hands on our men's phones? I know you are chuckling because you know I know what we do. And sometimes our womens instincts had been right sometimes they are not.

So as you go through his phonebook and messages you find nothing but one SMS from a woman saying "Hey stranger. Long time, when are we seeing you?" And there goes you sister creating a big puzzle. You think to yourself "Aha! I knew he is cheating. And they have a baby?" You misinterpret the use of 'we' by the sender. You are fuming and crying. In your head, you have all the facts right.

Or best case scenario...

You find what you have been suspecting. Messages, images - everything. I mean enough evidence that he is a cheat.

Big question is:

Who do you confront?

The other woman or your man?

Don't answer, I know what you will do. Well, may be I do, may be I do not.

But many a times we confront the other woman. And it becomes her fault. She becomes the bad person. What about the man who is mostly likely to have made the first move on the woman? How do you feel when the other woman gives you the impression she thought she was his one and only?

We become all hormonal and stoep sooooo loooow that our boobs kiss the ground LOL! We swear at them and call them cows and blitches. If it was their men that had approached you and never told you about them, would you expect them to understand?

I have no time to scream at another sister because chances are it is my dog that barked at her. Told her it loves her and a sea of lies and promises. You know what I would do? I would deal with my man. The other sister really would not have wronged me. Not unless she is someone I know or a colleague or friend. Then I would know it was a deliberate act. But what friend would do that to her own friend?

This is making me emotional. Yes we get hurt by such things but what disappoints is the way we handle or resolve the situations.